Reactions to divorce are not always predictable. There are so many things to consider in terms of preparing for the reactions children may have to the news of divorce in their family. Parents should be cognizant of several things, including where, when, and how to tell children the news of the parents’ divorce.
Divorce and children? There are effective ways to talk to your kids. There’s no doubt that divorce can be a life trauma for children. In most cases they are resistant, angry, fearful and anxious about how the divorce will effect them and change their lives.
For parents, it’s a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce and rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce.
While it is easy enough to keep working all the time, and creating excuses as to why you “have to” forge on, making time for your personal life is equally important. The reason? Because it not only gives you a chance to recharge and perform better, but it’s necessary for good health, too.
Getting back to work after a divorce can be a challenge. If your divorce has drastically changed your life and finances getting a job can not only help you get back on your feet financially, but it can also improve your mental health by giving you something less stressful to focus on.
Deciding on the type of job you want is the first thing you should do to help you transition into the job market. If you urgently need money, look at the jobs you have done in your past since your experience can give you an edge over other applicants. If money is not a big problem, you can look into your future and choose a job that you have always wanted to do.
Divorce advice is some thing we certainly need when preparing for a divorce. Coping with the finality of divorce is not an easy process. After 20 years of marriage, Kay Larrabee was caught completely unawares when her ex-husband told her he filed for divorce in February, 2008. He had been secretly planning his exit for months. At the time, Larrabee, a mom of three and certified career coach, was starting up a non-profit charitable organization to provide interview clothing to women transitioning into the workplace. She received no salary at the time and had to cease plans for the business. Since then, Larrabee has turned her negative experience into a healing one. She is helping other women avoid the pitfalls she experienced. She is now a Divorce Concierge and owner of Women on the Mend.
Adjusting to the challenges of life can be difficult. Change is hard on everyone. Although there are many things in your life you can get ready for (marriage, pregnancy, empty nest, retirement), no events are really predictable. Many unforeseen challenges and hurdles will be thrust upon you and you have to adjust to each the best that you can.
Divorcing parents usually comes with a negative connotation. And fair enough, divorce can seem overwhelming but when you’re a parent it can be especially challenging when coping with the realities of co-parenting your children. It isn’t easy. Committing to cooperative co-parenting takes patience and skill. It means both of you care deeply about your children and want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner.
Lament of a divorced parent? It’s true. Firsts are always memorable, especially the first time that a newly divorced parent sends the children off with the “ex”. The finality of no longer being parents in the same household becomes “reality”. For most parents, it is a very emotional experience; the first time you are home alone, and your children are with the “other” parent. You wonder if the children are ok? Did dad or mom remember that Susie was allergic to peanuts, that Jimmy needed his ADD meds in the morning? And, that each child needed a ride to a sports activity.