Divorcing When You Have Adult Children

Divorce is never easy for any family, especially if you have adult children. When children are older, they have already had longer-established family rituals and memories. Divorce can cause much more of an impact on adult children than on younger children.

Telling your adult children that you are getting a divorce is never easy.

Here are a couple of things you can do to prepare:

Speak to Your Adult Children in Person – Make sure to tell your children in person that you are getting a divorce. Do not tell your children via phone, text, or email. Just because they are no longer children doesn’t mean the news of your divorce won’t hurt them. If you have multiple children, make sure to tell them all together as they can use each other as a support system.

Don’t Play the “Blame Game” – Blaming each other puts your children in a difficult position, even if they are adults.

Be Supportive – Adult children will tend to keep their feelings inside and to themselves. Ultimately their relationships, work performance, and school can suffer which can lead to depression. Talk to your children and attend counseling together if needed.

Be Prepared to Answer Tough Questions – Your children are no longer little kids. They understand what a divorce is and why it happens. Especially if you’ve been with your significant other for many years, they’ll wonder why you waited so long to get a divorce. Be prepared to answer tough questions! Don’t say, “We stayed together for you.” That’ll make your children feel responsible.

Couples with adult children assume that their children will not be devastated by their divorce. Adult children need a support system during the adjustment period, just like any other person. Family and friends can be less supportive with an adult as they think that it won’t impact them. No matter how much you are suffering, don’t forget to be a parent first to your adult children.

Written By: Sharan Kaur, Rust Built, Marketing Services

References:

“When the “Kids” Aren’t “Kids.” DivorceInfo.com. http://www.divorceinfo.com/adultchildren.htm

“How to Tell Your Adult Children You’re Divorcing.” NextAvenue.org. http://www.nextavenue.org/article/2012-04/how-tell-your-adult-children-youre-divorcing.

“Why It’s So Hard for Adults When Their Parents Divorce.” YouBeauty.com. http://www.youbeauty.com/mind/why-grey-divorce-sucks-for-adult-children.