There is only ONE of me! Life as a single mom
Parenting is no easy role! Not only is it not easy, but it is 24/7- without a retirement plan. How do you roll in this full time job with just you on duty? My suggestions come from what I now know, but wish I had known when my home was “a two parent household minus one”. These are tips learned from my experience.
- Take deep breaths. When the demands of parenting seem to be impossible, take 15 minutes to close your eyes, breath deep, and then return to the fray.
- Develop relationships with other single moms. How comforting to know that others understand your situation because they are, also, experiencing the same.
- Let your children choose one sport, activity that is important to them. Over-scheduled children lead to an overwrought mom- and, children who don’t focus nor really enjoy what they are doing because they have to run to the next “thing”.
- Create (move beyond your negative feelings about the ex) good communication with your children’s dad. You may no longer love him, but they are the “other” parent. Your children need to see them, and you need to have time out when those visitation times come around.
- Demands are expansive for a single mom, but set a time a day that you can be with your children (no television, computers, cell phones) to regroup, listen to them, say, “I love you”. Children, young ones, especially, sometimes get the idea that their parentsâ€™ divorce because they have done something bad or misbehaved. Assurance from you that the divorce happened, not, because of any behaviors, other than mom and dad falling out of love.
- You have an important task, single motherhood, so be kind to you. Cut yourself some slack if things don’t always go as you expect.
Written by: Patricia Bubash, Successful Second Marriages
About the Author:
Patricia Bubash, M.Ed. Licensed Professional Counselor was in the field of education for more than 30 years. She worked with families, students on issues such as divorce, remarriage, blended families. In addition she gave workshops at the community college on a variety of parental issues, including step-families. She continues in this capacity through her volunteer efforts. Successful Second Marriages was written by Ms. Bubash to provide encouragement, inspiration and hope for couples who after divorce choose to “try again”