How to Define Your Boundaries to Avoid Drama
The hurt of divorce can drive us to do and say things that we may normally never dream of doing or saying. If you find yourself wondering, did that really just happen? Maybe it’s time to take a step back and define some straight boundaries to protect your own standards and values.
Learn from Marriage and Family Therapist, Mary Ann Aronsohn, how to separate your home from your ex’s home and how to prevent getting sucked in to the Bermuda Triangle of Drama.
How to Hold Yourself to Your Highest Values
If you have a decent relationship with your child, you can let your child go to your co-parent and enjoy spending time with him/her. Your child needs both of you and will be watching to see how you handle yourself; are you frightened and stingy or revengeful, or can you be mature enough to give your child the freedom to love both of you? If you undermine the relationship your child has with the other parent that behavior will backfire at you.
Help your child respect the differences in each household without judgment. “That’s how you do it in that household; here’s how it is in this household.”
Keep yourself out of the middle. (Triangles can be high drama!) If your child comes to you complaining about the other parent, you can send the child back to her/him: “Your Dad/Mom loves you very much and would want to know you are feeling this way. I strongly encourage you to talk with him/her about this.”
Written by: Mary Ann Aronsohn, Marriage and Family Therapist/Co-Parenting Specialist