Divorcing Parents: Secrets of a Good Divorce
Divorcing parents usually comes with a negative connotation. And fair enough, divorce can seem overwhelming but when you’re a parent it can be especially challenging when coping with the realities of co-parenting your children. It isn’t easy. Committing to cooperative co-parenting takes patience and skill. It means both of you care deeply about your children and want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner.
Divorcing Parents: Secret To A Good Divorce
Not all parents share the parenting process in the best possible way and for some couples it is not the ideal situation to even attempt it. But those couples who choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children, certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement.
While this is a complex topic, there are some key success strategies that really work. Behind them is a desire for effective communication and a sense of trust between the former spouses.
When handled with care, your children enjoy the security and comfort of being with their other parent when they are not with you. You are less dependent on strangers as caretakers in their lives, and that is a win-win all around.
Transitioning smoothly to co-parenting with your former spouse won’t always be easy. You should expect challenges along the way.
Here are some things to keep in mind to help make your new co-parenting relationship work in the best possible way.
Never bad-mouth your ex around the kids! If kids ask questions, give them age-appropriate answers that are honest but not judgmental. Kids are hurt and feel guilty when the parent they love is put-down by their other parent.
Always give your ex the opportunity for special times with the kids “ before involving a new relationship partner, i.e.: field trips, taking your teen for their drivers test or tryouts for a new sport.
Prioritize Mom and Dad being together for special occasion: celebrating birthdays, graduations and other significant events. Be considerate of one another as co-parents to eliminate stress so your kids can enjoy a sense of family.
Don’t expect to agree with your ex on all things. So decide to pick your battles regarding parenting issues. Determine what’s worth discussing and what you can control and need to release.
Ignoring any of these basic communication principles sets you up for conflict, jealousy, stress and tension. Breaking these rules sabotages your sense of trust with your ex and that opens the door to mind games, retaliations and discord for everyone in the family.
When that happens, your children are the ones who pay the price!
A good divorce means an effective outcome for you and your children. Don’t let them become the victims due to your poor co-parenting skills. Strive to be the hero in your relationship with your ex. Cooperate. Collaborate. Be flexible and do favors. You are much more likely to get them back in return.
Written by: Rosalind Sedacca, Child Centered Divorce
About the Author:
Rosalind Sedacca is a Divorce & Parenting Mentor and author of the internationally acclaimed guidebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children â€“ with Love! It can be found at http://www.howdoitellthekids.com. Her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, free articles, free ezine and other valuable resources for parents are all available at http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
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