How to Explain Custody to Children
Divorce is a traumatic process not just for parents but also for their children. To help children cope with the changes in their living arrangements once the courts have determined who will have custody of the children, parents can do the following:
- Present a united front:Parents should present a united front when they are informing their children of the new changes in their lives by meeting the children together. If they are unable to sit in the same room, they can speak to the children separately but ensure that they are reading from the same script.
- Present the facts:Parents should tell their children where they will be living and when they will see the other parent. They should also inform them of the designated pickup and drop off points as well as where they will be spending their holidays. If the children do not understand why they have to accept those changes, they should be told that the judge has examined all the facts of their situation and decided that the changes are in the best interests of everyone.
- Avoid the blame game:As they tell their children of the new adjustments to their lives, parents should avoid blaming each other for causing the divorce that has led to these changes. This is very important since in most cases the children love both parents and they are already emotionally distressed by the new changes.
- Conclude with good news:Parents should finish explaining the custody arrangements with some good news since it helps the children who have been living through the stressful season of their parents fighting and then divorcing see that there is still something good to look forward to. This good news can be as simple as telling them that both parents love them very much. It can also be just telling them that daddy will continue attending their soccer games every other weekend and mommy will still take them for ballet on Fridays.
Written by: Marian Kim, Rust Built, Marketing Services