How to Help Your Children Get Through Divorce
Since children are egocentric, they should be your first consideration when contemplating divorce. They have to know that the decision you’ve made is not their fault and they have done nothing wrong. Help them to understand divorcing is what you believe to be the best step to take for everyone in the family.
During this time of complicated emotions which may include anger, resentment and hurt feelings, remember your children are feeling it as well. They may begin acting out in school, become afraid and anxious, or depressed. After all, the family unit is splitting up. The children have no idea what to expect. Let them know that the bottom us not crumbling beneath their feet, it is simply changing.
You can assist then through this difficult time with these helpful tips:
- Let them know how much you love them by spending quality time with them.
- Keep arguments and disagreements out of earshot of the children.
- Make this time an exciting adventure for them.
- Help them to understand the shift your love for one another has taken.
- Continue to behave as a cohesive family unit.
- Gradually separate, do not make the changes abruptly.
- Answer every question asked by them, honestly.
- If they become angry with you, understand they are afraid and lovingly help them through it.
Written by: Lateefah Wielenga, PhD, The Coaching Kiva
About the Author:
Lateefah Wielenga received her PhD in Depth Psychology, which examines the elements of art, literature, dreams, the imaginal, archetypes and our cultural-values, and how they affect human behavior. She works as a Life and Relationship Coach, helping couples communicate more effectively by teaching self-acceptance; and she offers Life Solutions to individual clients. Known as The Relationship Referee, Dr. Welenga’s coaching techniques have been very effective helping couples understand the importance of their needs, wants and desires. She assists men with issues of depression and anxiety, and helps women find their voices by helping them to cultivate their self-worth. Dr. Wielenga also provides maintenance coaching and consulting. She is available to speaking engagements and workshops.