Essential Steps to a Happier Life After Divorce
Accepting the reality and finality of divorce can be a tough challenge. We need to be able to let go of the life we knew and prepare to face an unknown future. That can be intimidating. Here are some key steps accepting your new reality with grace, peace and positive expectations for a happier life ahead.
Focus on yourself — not on your former spouse:
Undoing the past is impossible. The only one we can ever change is ourselves. Don’t waste valuable time pining about the past, blaming your ex or wishing you had done something differently. Focus instead on how you can transform yourself today into the person you most want to be.
Seek out the support you need
Tough times demand support systems if we want to progress into the next stage in our lives. Recovering from the wounds of divorce is not something to tackle alone. Reach out for a coach, therapist, support group or member of the clergy experienced in this work. It will accelerate your progress while boosting your self-esteem at the same time.
Accept that this is a process:
Feeling angry, depressed, embarrassed, hurt or other negative emotions is a natural part of the grieving and moving on process after divorced. Accept your feelings and look for the lessons you’ve learned through your marriage and divorce. These can be gifts you can use when you’re ready to look ahead and step out into your new reality. If you’re feeling stuck in any emotion and can’t let go, reach out for the help you need from an experienced professional. Remember, you’re not alone so don’t isolate yourself or stay immersed in your pain.
Take responsibility for the part you played:
It’s easy to feel like a victim in your divorce and put all the blame on your former spouse. But that keeps you stuck in a place without growth. Before you can move beyond your divorce you have to “own” the part you played in the marriage as well as the insights you can take away to use ahead. When we take responsibility for experiences in our lives we have the power to make positive changes – and that’s essential for creating a brighter future we all desire and deserve.
Written by: Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
About the Author:
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Divorce and Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! To get her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right!, free ezine, blog, coaching services and other valuable resources for parents facing, moving through or transitioning after divorce, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca All rights reserved.