Change, Implement, Do
Holidays can be stressful, as is, with all the activities, preparations, shopping, family gatherings, and, then add divorce. It seems that everyone around you is getting into the “season” as you are experiencing one of the most traumatic events of your life.
Families once again, reliving the traditions that existed year after year. Traditions which you had previously looked forward to, now, dread because your family composition is changing. How can you enjoy this special time with family and friends? What makes the season bearable?
Change, Implement, Do:
Change the usual choices:
What you did as a couple, you need to recreate, change the usual. If you went to a certain restaurant as part of your holiday activities, go to a new place, something very different: do Italian vs. Irish food. Buy new Christmas decorations, do away with the train set that “he” always wanted displayed, do away with the “pink” Christmas tree “she” always had on display.
Implement a new tradition:
If the family always opened gifts Christmas Eve, implement a new routine, open gifts Christmas Day. Have omelets vs. pancakes for Christmas breakfast. Go Christmas caroling, attend a Christmas Mass, and see a Christmas play. You are in charge of making a new tradition- your choice to put something new, unique in place.
Do for others:
Add to this year’s holiday some time to volunteer. Nothing takes the focus off our own “stuff” than helping others. It is a wonderful way to teach children (who are, also, feeling stress of a divorce) to be thoughtful, caring citizens.
And, breathe, breathe, breathe.
About the Author:
Patricia Bubash received her Masters in Education with emphasis in Counseling from the University of Missouri, St.Louis. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Stephen Minister, and the author of Successful Second Marriages. Mrs. Bubash worked in education as a teacher, counselor, parent advocate for more than 30 years. She is an avid volunteer, traveler, writer, and “spoiler” of her grandchildren. She may be reached at her website: www.successfulsecondmarriages.com