People get divorced for so many different reasons, and each reason is very personal, but that does not mean you are alone. Even the very popular internet phenomenon Jill Smokler, who runs the website “Scary Mommy” has recently called it quits with her husband after 17 years of marriage. In this interview on Today.com she gives a tell all of exactly what happened and more importantly how she revealed the information to hear children, which is probably one of the most difficult experiences we mother’s face in divorce.
Divorce can be one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through. Most people get married with the intentions of forever after, so when that ideal ends it’s difficult to remain objective or unemotional about your actions. Divorce is complicated and involves many different issues and your behavior before, during, and after your divorce will determine how smoothly you will transition during your divorce and recover afterward. For every poor decision you make in the early days of the break-up you will pay a price that will only enlarge exponentially if you don’t make a real effort to make the right choices during this difficult time. There was a great article on “Today” with 7 Things You Shouldn’t Do After A Divorce. Read them, write them down, and do your best to absorb them.
Reactions to divorce are not always predictable. There are so many things to consider in terms of preparing for the reactions children may have to the news of divorce in their family. Parents should be cognizant of several things, including where, when, and how to tell children the news of the parents’ divorce.
Divorce and children? There are effective ways to talk to your kids. There’s no doubt that divorce can be a life trauma for children. In most cases they are resistant, angry, fearful and anxious about how the divorce will effect them and change their lives.
For parents, it’s a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce and rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce.
While it is easy enough to keep working all the time, and creating excuses as to why you “have to” forge on, making time for your personal life is equally important. The reason? Because it not only gives you a chance to recharge and perform better, but it’s necessary for good health, too.
Getting back to work after a divorce can be a challenge. If your divorce has drastically changed your life and finances getting a job can not only help you get back on your feet financially, but it can also improve your mental health by giving you something less stressful to focus on.
Deciding on the type of job you want is the first thing you should do to help you transition into the job market. If you urgently need money, look at the jobs you have done in your past since your experience can give you an edge over other applicants. If money is not a big problem, you can look into your future and choose a job that you have always wanted to do.
Divorce advice is some thing we certainly need when preparing for a divorce. Coping with the finality of divorce is not an easy process. After 20 years of marriage, Kay Larrabee was caught completely unawares when her ex-husband told her he filed for divorce in February, 2008. He had been secretly planning his exit for months. At the time, Larrabee, a mom of three and certified career coach, was starting up a non-profit charitable organization to provide interview clothing to women transitioning into the workplace. She received no salary at the time and had to cease plans for the business. Since then, Larrabee has turned her negative experience into a healing one. She is helping other women avoid the pitfalls she experienced. She is now a Divorce Concierge and owner of Women on the Mend.
Adjusting to the challenges of life can be difficult. Change is hard on everyone. Although there are many things in your life you can get ready for (marriage, pregnancy, empty nest, retirement), no events are really predictable. Many unforeseen challenges and hurdles will be thrust upon you and you have to adjust to each the best that you can.