Finding the Sun; Life After Divorce

As anyone who’s been through a divorce can tell you, it can be (and usually is), a very painful experience. Even the most amicable of splits, or the ones we knew had to happen, may still leave us with lonely nights spent wondering what went wrong.

They can leave us grieving the loss of something we had placed our hearts, souls, and dreams for the future. They may leave us feeling as though we are a failure, or that we simply “aren’t good enough.” They can also leave us as single parents, and may leave us in a stressful situation financially.

Divorces are difficult, regardless of what part we played in it; whether we’re the one who’s leaving, or the divorce papers came out of left field, going from being one half of a couple to standing on our own is a big adjustment.
But it can be a time of positive change, should we so choose. We are now the sole architects of our future, and that is an incredibly empowering realization.

Think about some of the advantages…now I’m not saying marriage is a bad thing, but inevitably we wind up compromising (as we should when involved in a relationship). Post-divorce is a great time to pick up the paintbrush again, or take that creative writing or ballroom dance class that got put on the back burner.

It’s also a good opportunity to be honest with ourselves. To look at what part we played in the marriage ending and make whatever changes we deem beneficial to any future relationships.  Or it can be a great time to simply sit and get to know ourselves, or a perfect opportunity to reinvent ourselves.

It’s a chance to think about who we are, and decide if that’s who we want to be going forward. Depending on our financial situation and whether there are kids involved or not, this could be the chance we’ve been waiting for to change careers or start our own business. It might just be the push we need to step out of our comfort zone and try something new!

Whatever we do, dwelling on the past and what could have been is not a good idea. At some point we need to stop grieving and take control of our lives. Trying new things. Meeting new people can make that easier by opening up a whole lot of doors that we perhaps never even knew were there and can also help combat those feelings of inadequacy. It can also help us find things we’re good at or that give us a great amount of satisfaction to be doing by helping us find skills and talents we never knew we had. And maybe, while looking for the silver lining to the cloud, we might just find the sun.

Written by: Tricia Doane, Rust Built, Marketing Services