Keep Your Head on Straight – You’re Going to Need it!

When you’re barreling through a divorce, life can get hectic as your world completely changes. You need to find anchors that ground you and support you as you make your way through the long journey of divorce.

We asked divorce experts to share their thoughts on what women can do to keep their heads on straight through a divorce. They’ve offered up some really helpful advice – check out the tips below:

Tip #1: Noting the Positive

Many women involved in a divorce have been talked to in such a critical way that they have forgotten how to think of themselves in a positive way. I suggest that part of the morning routine is to write down three positive things about themselves. Each morning try to add three new ones, no matter how simple. During the day, if those old negative messages return, negate them with a new positive thought. At the end of the day read the journal entries of all the positive things that have been written.

— Dr. Nona Owens, Psychologist in Clinton, Mississippi

Tip #2: Girlfriends aren’t Optional

When going through divorce, family and friends who were close to both of you will often feel torn in allegiance and some of those relationships will fade, so before you divorce build your own separate relationships with girlfriends who can hang solidly with you as you go forward–without any ambivalence. It is critical to have close emotional support during the lonely times of divorce recovery!

— Maureen Daniek, MSWLife Transition Coach

Tip #3: It’s Just Good Business

Use business relationship protocol and etiquette when communicating with your ex in all phases of divorce. By keeping your emotions out of conversations and sticking to the task at hand, you will maintain control and get more accomplished without getting dragged back into the conflicts that led to the break-up. Emotions in dealing with an ex can be expensive to both the wallet and your mental health.

— Valerie A. Jencks MS, LMFT, LCPC owner of Prairie Family Therapy in the greater Chicago area, www.prairiefamilytherapy.com

Tip #4: Take Action

Expand your close attachments with friends, family members, and new relationships. These relationships can help buffer the loneliness that many women feel when they separate from a long term spouse. Fill up your life with new experiences and different relationships that can provide you with closeness.

Innovate yourself! Getting divorced certainly brings struggles, but it also brings great opportunity as well to innovate new roles for yourself and create a whole new lifestyle if you choose! Are there things you always wanted to do or be and never pursued? Here is your opportunity! Carpe Diem!

Become competent at independence. Getting comfortable with independence takes time. Don’t hold back on doing adventurous things because you may have to do them alone. Learn to explore new things! Take a book with you to a lovely peaceful dinner at your favorite restaurant. Exploring on your own can be freeing, and the added plus: no makeup required!

— Dr. Deb Castaldo, www.debracastaldo.com

If you’re considering or proceeding through a divorce, information is key. Please take some time to educate yourself using the information here at womensrights.com.