You Have Friends to Help You Through Your Divorce

I have the distinction (not one that I aspired to!) of being one of the many divorced women of the late 70’s- the year that the divorce rate skyrocketed. I had chosen motherhood over career. What was I going to do? It was traumatic, emotionally unsettling, and financially devastating. I did not have friends nor family who shared my experience. I was at a loss as to who I could go to for help and support, and more than anything, understanding. In my social groups, I was the “only” one divorced- the “token divorcee” of the neighborhood. Due to the continuing increase in divorce, what was not available to me so many years ago, can be found now: support, resources, help.

Moms, first, talk to your child’s school counselor. As a former school counselor of over 20 years, our resources are many. Plus, we are involved with your child, daily, and can help with their adjustment to this family change. Often there are counseling groups for children who are experiencing losses such as divorce or death.

Divorce Care is a nationally known organization in place in many churches. It is not sponsored by any one faith, but exists in many communities. It is coed, approximately 13 weeks in length, and addresses the issues of divorce with minimal or no cost.

Stephen Ministers is another group that has been established in churches of various faiths. Anyone can ask to utilize the services of these volunteer lay persons who will listen, suggest resources as needed, and be your friend, “the shoulder you need to lean on.”

Look up the site of Jennifer Maggio who has made her career in helping single moms. She offers books, workshops, and brings together moms who share their common problems. There are friends to help you- only a call or email away.

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About the Author: Patricia Bubash, M.Ed, Licensed Professional Counselor has worked with families in an educational setting for over 30 years. During those years, she was a parent advocate, presenting workshops at the community college on a variety of parenting issues: blending families, self-esteem, ADHD, etc. She has led counseling groups, Kids in the Middle, for children experiencing loss such as divorce or death. Her book, Successful Second Marriages, was written as a result of her interaction with families.